If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize