how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
