hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
