She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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