Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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