Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
