$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
