I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
