She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
