Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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