Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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