its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just googled if crying burns calories
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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