how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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