OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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