hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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