omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This is my gift to your gina
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
