hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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