Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
