I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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