a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
