haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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