69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize