At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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