Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
