Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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