I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize