I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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