pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
