that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
