2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
