i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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