fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
