The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize