About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
