He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
