How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
