Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
