you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
