So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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