I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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