I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
