Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
