What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize