jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize