you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
