Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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