lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
