she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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