You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
