There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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