they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
