he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
