i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
