I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize