After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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