i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Your penis caused this!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
