hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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