He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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