Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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