You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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