I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
