I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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