so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize