you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am naked and annoyed.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
