I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
