what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I came so hard my ears popped.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
