i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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