Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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