He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
