Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
