did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
wow bdsm is so cute
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