i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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