At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
